Gifts to a child - my views

To my nieces and nephews ---- Want to bring up something I notice about parents giving gifts to children. I have heard many times how parents tell their children that *when you get good grades in school, I will buy you that gift that you a...sked for*, or *when you do well, I will buy you a laptop* ...... I call that bribing. That is no way to gift a child.

I have never gifted my nieces and nephews when they did well, but rather out of the blues give them a present or when it was their birthday. A child should not be bribed into thinking that he or she will be rewarded with material gifts when he or she does well. However, when the child does well and the parents feel a gift is in order then by all means give (but by not announcing earlier). Give gifts for special occasions or for no reason at all.

When I was in Primary 2 (8 yrs old) and going to do the end of the year exams, my eldest brother told me that he would buy me a Shaeffers ink pen if I got below 10th girl. I studied and studied with all my might and when the results came I remember running home with the report card. I was 2nd in class. Along the way while going home, I met my favourite candy man selling candies (my parents friend too) and I showed him my report card and out of the blues gave me a candy. That was the first time I got it for free, otherwise I always paid for my candies.

Anyway, coming home and later when my brother came home, I showed him my report card and he said well done........ I was happy to hear him say that, and I thought to myself that the next thing I would get from him was going to be a shaeffers pen. We start writing cursive handwriting using the ink pen the following year.

I waited and I waited and I waited but I never got my pen. I didn't ask him too. My sister bought me a *hero* brand of pen and I used that. But I never forgot about my shaeffer's pen. As I grew up and earned my salary, it's no problem for me to buy me any brand of ink pen (I have a collection of ink pens), but at the back of my mind there is still that unfulfilled gift - the shaeffer's pen my brother promised. He promised me but he didn't keep his word. He could have told me that he couldn't afford it or that he forgot about it. But I know his wife was the one who blocked him from getting me that gift. Why I said that was because, on the day that he said he will buy me a shaeffer's pen, I saw her nudging him at the side.

Enough said.

I sometimes wonder how a child that's been bribed to do well will turn up later in life. When he or she works, do they expect to be rewarded for the work. I mean, like working because one loves the job or because of the rewards be it monetary or promotions. I know I worked because I loved my job. I know I got disappointed too when I didn't get my promotions in time.


25 September at 09:52

I would like to actually write about working parents and gifting a child, but I am running a bit short of time. Here's a short thought. Parents who work long hours (earning all that salary) and not spending time with kids and buying them ...play things to muse themselves with.

I as a child, would rather love having my parents play with me, read with me, spend time with me, then all that play things they buy for me. I am left all alone in a corner playing by myself. Dad and mom, it's you I want and not the gifts. I want to hear you, touch you, feel you. I don't want to be sitting here alone playing.See more
25 September at 09:57

Of course I could be also wrong with my views. I mean after all I don't have children, so maybe I am not the best person to give my views *smile* ........ but I did dream once, dream of being a mom to 6 children (if it was the Lord's will).... I dreamt of how I would bring up my children. One to be a Pastor, one in the medical field, one in the teaching profession, one to be a lawyer, one to be an architect (so he can design my house) and the last to be the President of the ....... *smile* ........ all my dreams didn't come true and it's ok too. I mean now it's ok, I am older, but in my late 30's and early 40's that was the most difficult time to accept that I will never be a mommy. But age 43 I got Junior my baby boy. I give all the love in my heart enough for 6 children all onto him.

I have been richly blessed by having my J boy in my life.
25 September at 15:03