Remembering my little Jay

Remembering my little Jay - Comb Hair, Clean Eyes and Clean Mouth.

Junior understood at least 70 words and sentences. 
My smart little boy. 

When I comb my hair, little Jay would watch me and I will tell him, Come, Comb hair and little Jay will take a few steps towards me with his head bowed down slightly and I will comb his head from his eyebrows to the back. I can only comb twice and he will walk away 

When his eyes are slightly dirty, sometimes after spending time at our garden, I will take a tissue or toilet paper and tell him Come, Clean Eyes and he will walk towards me and let me clean his eyes, once each eye. If I didn't clean good enough, there is no 3rd time.

When he ate his food or his quark with flaxseed oil, I can clean his mouth ONLY with a tissue or toilet paper. No wet cloths, absolutely no wet cloths or he will fight with the cloth. 

What a well groomed little doggie. 

I was ironing clothes and thought about him and remembered how I used to write on a paper the words he understood and they were at least 70 words and sentences. I wrote all these down when he was a puppy right up to a few year old. 

Junior my pride and joy. How he made me feel good and happy. 

Yesterday, we talked about some of the funny things he did and managed to laugh about it.

 I told you many times that he was the leader of the pack and how true. I was just his beck and call, was his slave. 

When we go to bed in the night in the previous home and we switched the small TV on, he will start barking at the TV. He will keep quite if he turned the volume off. 

No talking in bed  Junior wants to sleep heheheheheh. 

Lights out ! Junior wants to sleep  

What a smart boy. He even knew how to switch the light out. We had a long string attached to the light switch and he will jump and pull the switch to turn of the light. What a smart little boy. 

What I miss most about him is when I used to turn and toss on those sleepless nights, he will move his body to sleep right next to me. He knew that would lull me to sleep. 

He is so smart and sensitive to all that was going on with me. Do you know I must cry coz, he will be right there licking my tears away. Even when I cut the onions and I have tears flowing down and I get some toilet paper to wipe my tears and blow my nose, he will bug me to carry him and then he will lick my tears away. What a smart little boy. I do miss my precious one. He truly made me feel wanted. 

I was so blessed to have him for 11 years. He is etched into my heart and there he will stay forever. 

Some day, one day, we're going to get a puppy (perhaps after 5 years or so), then, we're going to make new memories and new happenings, new joys, new laughters, new words, new activities. 

I am sure the new puppy would love us and be happy with us. Can't wait for that time when we get a new puppy. What a joyous event that will be. 

We will be 5 years older but perhaps having a young one in the house will keep us all active.

 Oh another thing - when I had the sewing machine on the dining table and if I said Mummy going to sew something for you, he will sit near my legs till I am finished and quickly claim whatever it is that I sewed for him. He will patiently sit there and wait and wait. 

I am glad I sewed him beds, he thoroughly enjoyed them. 

I was always excited to do little things for him, coz, he appreciated them. When I give him something, he will kiss me first and take that thing away. What a wonderful little blessing he was. Such a joy to have had him. Wonderful memories he left behind.

A month since you're laid to rest.

Seconds into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, weeks into months, months into years.

How time flies past too quickly.

Sweet love, it's a month since you've been gone and I miss you so much. I miss the happiness and funny moments. I love you sweet heart. 

Thank you for giving us such wonderful memories to look back on. I loved loving you and caring for you every single second. 

I still have some of your puppy teeth stored in a little box. You precious little thing. I have a spot in my heart that you will stay in forever. Mamma love you boy.

 Juni, Mamma met Timo's mom a few days ago. Timo left too. Last year, can you believe it. I thought I saw them together recently but recently is more than a year ago. You hated him so much. Poor boy. Why you hate Cocker Spaniels I don't know. Well I am sure you're playing with each other there. Baasje you didn't like too, but I am sure you boys and girls are having a wonderful time playing. Playing without a concern. Just enjoying your time. No more pain boy. No more suffering. No more struggles. Isn't that wonderful. Hope someday we get to meet again. 

I don't know God's plans and what He has in store for us for the future, if we will ever see you again or not but I truly hope to meet you again some day. God is a Good God and He made the earth and everything in it. Let's hope that someday we will meet again. 

We talked a lot didn't we. Mamma always carried you and told you stories. I miss that boy. Carrying you and looking out the window and looking at the world pass by. Those were wonderful times. I love you. Forever in my heart you will stay.

To Junior's Pa

Yes Alex van Klink, Junior enjoyed life, every bit of it. Give him the smallest thing and he was happy. He was thankful. He was always excited for the day. 

He didn't like it when we cried remember. He would always lick our tears. 

He was a happy dog Alex. Give him a ball and he will play so much with it. How he enjoyed his brokkies. He enjoyed his bed too. He loved a clean bed remember.

He loved us very much Alex. You were his BEST friend ever and I was his best mom ever. He loved us Alex. 

He always wanted us to be happy remember. So let's remember fond memories and be happy again, just the way he made us feel all those years ago. 

He was a perfect dog for us Alex. Perfect for you and perfect for me. 

We prayed for a dog remember. God directed him to us. Wasn't he the absolute joy. He got ill. We surrendered his life to God and God extended his life by nearly 3 years Alex. Junior was happy everyday remember. Remember how he humped his doll almost daily. He was happy. 

God took him home at exactly the time He wanted. We always prayed God's will be done. We trusted God for everything concerning Junior. So God was in total control over everything. God knew a long long time ago when He wanted Junior to go home with Him. 

We leaned totally on God all those times Alex, we lean on Him forever more. God will comfort us Alex. He comforted us back then, He will comfort us now. God will never leave us nor forsake us. 

Remember I always say God is in all tomorrows. So God knew exactly what will happen for us. We need to be strong for each other Alex. I know I am broken. I miss my boy badly but I must remember little Junior is with the Lord, coz God has the keys to life and death. 

He said I have come to destroy the works of the devil. God did just that Alex. God destroyed satan's plan 3 years ago and instead blessed us with 3 extra years for Junior. God won Alex. Satan gave sickness but God gave the healing Alex. Junior despite being ill sometimes was having a good life for 3 years Alex. 

God said He came to give life in abundance. Junior had that Alex. Junior had life in abundance. Let's Praise God and give Him all the Glory. God has been so GOOD to us Alex. Junior could have been gone 3 years ago but God took charge, took control and blessed Junior, you and I with 3 more wonderful years. Isn't it good to know that God took charge of the whole situation. 

I praise God forever Alex. God is still good. He was good and He is good and He will continue to be good to us. 

I love you Alex. We still have each other. Let's be strong for each other Alex. Let's keep Junior tenderly in our memories and be happy the way he was happy. He was full of life Alex. We need to learn from our little dog all about life. Be happy every single second - that was Junior's motto.

Junior - no pain now Mama.

Mama, I am in no pain now Mama.  Thank you for listening to God and giving me the Flaxseed oil and Kwark.  I lived an extra 3 years Mama.  I thank Pappa for taking care of me too Mama.  I was happy Mama. 

I was sick Junior.  I was sick too Mamma, we both were sick.  I with Jesus now and I have no pain.  I am good Mama.  I love you forever Mama.  I am in your heart forever Mama. 

Feeling Empty without Junior

Feels so empty without my darling boy. I miss kissing him and saying to him that I love you many times a day. 
We prayed for a dog 11 years ago and he came into our lives. What a wonderful and awesome blessing he was. What joy to have him. So full of life and playfulness.

God took him at exactly the time He determined. I will always be thankful to God for the wonderful years I had with little Junior.

Things to remember

Things to remember
Nights I stayed up with him praying over him when his stomach made a lot of noise.
In the garden when I sat on the ground level and he comes to put his paws on my lap and plants tons of kisses on my cheeks.
Carrying him like a baby and planting lots of kisses on his cheeks and forehead. 
Saying numerous times a day that I love him and getting kisses back from him.
Going to the WC and he comes searching for me.  Either sits outside or he comes in and puts his paws on my lap.
Licking my tears all those times I cried.
Sleeping with me when I was on the couch taking a nap.  He will jump up and get his kibbles or wait till he gets those kibbles.
Smelling me under my breasts before bed.
When I turn and toss in the night unable to sleep, he will come under the covers and put his body close to mine and comfort me to sleep.
When we pray, he is always with us. 
Way in the beginning, I was walking him and he was at my side.  But when he saw these huge dogs, he positioned himself to walk in front of me.  My tarzan he was.
When I carried him and others tried to touch, he was protecting me.
I slept with him on the floor when he had the neck pain.  I think nearly 2 months.
When I first fed him Flaxseed oil and Kwark, I mixed it by hand and Alex was carrying him while I fed him finger licks full, with tears streaming down my cheeks.
How at the Vets, after examination or injection, he will jump to Mummy.
I still have his baby teeth with me.
How we ate slagroom ice cream together, he and me.
How he loves bread stuffs.  Turkish bread and my roti prata.
How he will try to take food from my mouth as though my food was his food too.
How when I want to go out with him for a walk, he will just stand there and not want to walk because he wants to go walking with his Pa instead of me.
How he hates it when we put his clothes on and especially when I want to try those new jackets that we sew for him.
The plastic bag shirt he wore. 
How he has an internal clock and exactly at the right time he will want food.
How he runs to me when I come home from outside and wants me to carry him so he can lick me.
How he looks into shopping bags and handbags.
When I touch something, he wants to know what I have in my hand.  What is that mom?
How he sits waiting patiently for his food and do the sound.


I miss you Junior my little mini pincher.  You were the joy of my life.  I could have benefited another few years more with you but that was not the case.  You have gone to be with the Lord. 

I love you Jay boy with all my heart and it hurts me that you are gone from me.  I want you back but you will never return.  I am left here struggling with memories now. 

You took a part of my heart with you Junior

You took a part of my heart with you today my sweet sweet love. I yearn to kiss you as I used to Junior. I miss you so much my darling. You will always be Momma's boy. I love you Juni.

I wish I could have another 11 years with you. I miss you so much my darling boy. I miss smelling you. You knew Momma loved you right. You will always be special to me Junior. I love you so much.

 I did wash his blankets and bed yesterday before we went to the doctors. I thought he will have a clean bed to come home too. Last night Alex slept with one of his blanket and I slept with the other blanket. 

We brought his bed up to our room last night and this morning we brought it down and placed it at his usual place. 

We have made arrangements to have him taxidermied. His insides will be removed and he will be stuffed. We are told that his ears, and legs will still feel supple, movable. He will come back to us end of January. It cost us 350 euro. We talked about doing this January 2012 when Junior was first diagnosed with cancer. We both can bear to have him cremated or buried. So we chose this method. 

The last one in our family to die will have Junior cremated or buried with him or her. It may sound silly to some people but this is what we chose for Junior. His spirit is back to God but his shell remains with us.

 Let's be strong no matter how difficult it is. Let's remember the good times we had of them. Easier said then done but we must try. I cried a river yesterday and even at 4 am I woke up this morning and cried for him. What can tears do? They will never bring him back. I just need to hug the memories I had of him. 

Stay strong dear friend.  you much.

Yep, time was up for him. He has gone to be with our Lord. God has control over life and time of death. 

Thank you too for all those times that you kept him in prayer Sis. He did survive nearly 3 years. I thank God for that and I praise God for that. God has been good to us. 

I wish I could have him for 1 more day and I wish that 1 day was a 100 years

 

Junior 19 Oct 2003 - 16 Oct 2014. Rest in Peace my lovely one.

My Most precious little boy has gone to be with the Lord today on 16 October 2014. 
He would have been 11 years old on 19th October.

Junior survived cancer for 2 years and 9 months.

Today, it was over for him. He is right now playing with the other dogs in the doggie heaven. He has no more pain, no more suffering.

Junior has been the BEST thing ever in my life these 11 years.

I take this moment to thank all my Brothers and Sisters who kept him in prayers. Prayers was the only thing that kept him alive all these years.

 Last night he was in horrible pain and we brought him to the Vet. We slept in the living room. I woke up many times in the night because Junior was sleeping with his Pa, then slept with me, then kept moving here and there. 

But this morning, he seemed gone and not reacting. So brought him to the Vet and she said it's over. 

We told Junior again that we loved him and thanked him for all the GOOD times he gave us. We told him that Jesus will take him home. 

Vet cried tears too. She met Junior when he was 8 weeks old and has always taken good care of Junior. 

Vet told me that Jesus holds the keys to Life and Death and He determines the time of death. She hugged me real hard today. A mother to another mom hug. I thank her for that. 

Alex had a seizure at the Vet's. He was crying and he had a seizure. Vet had to hold him and pacify him while I carried my boy.

 Anyway, Junior is not in pain anymore. No more tippy toe in our home. No more bugging mommy for food. He has a built in clock and knows precisely when it's time for his food. Sadly yesterday, he didn't eat much. He threw up a lot of liquid before we went to the Vets.

Thank you everyone. In July, Junior was in critical condition when he had a scan done and his gall bladder was filled with tumor. 

Last night he was in terrible pain. He was sleeping so nicely, suddenly he whined with pain. Brought him to the vet and we were still hopeful. But this morning, he was listless and not moving much. Not responding too. So it was time to say good bye to the love of our hearts. 

He was blessed with nearly 3 extra years and for that we are very grateful to God. All praises to God. All thanks to God. 

We just came back home from the taxidermist and an appt at the hospital for me. 

Junior will be back with us end of January next year. He will be in a sleeping position, eyes closed. So he will always sleep in his bed here. Downstairs at his usual place, near our feet and upstairs in front of our bed. 

We came home and there was no one running to the door to see what we have brought for him. No one to welcome us home. He will always go to his Pa and give tons of kisses.

 Animals are such a blessing. Too bad they have to leave us someday. 

Junior lives in our hearts forever. I am going to remember the good times. But I am missing him like crazy right now. Mommy mommy, this. Mommy mommy that. He knows his dad and mom loved him very much and he did have a prince's life.

  *tears* .....  It's so difficult right now for us. Alex and I married some 15 years ago and Junior was with us for nearly 11 years. 

He was with us during our early struggles of a marriage. 2 weeks ago, I thought that I finally am in a good place, feeling kind of peaceful in my life and my boy is no more with us. Feels like he knew that his Mom and Dad are alright now and that he can let go. 

Yes, he is playing in a doggie heaven right now, a place with no pain and no more injections. 

I do miss him a lot. He was afterall one of the few joys of my life.

 A week ago I said to Alex that I finally feel happy in my life. Little Junior was with me during all my struggles with my human body, yet when I finally am at a good place, he is not with me anymore. 

It's almost like he knew when to go.

 It's also very hard for Alex. Alex and Junior were buddies. Alex used to bring him out about 5 to 6 times a day. They used to fight like men. Even though Junior was small he will fight like crazy. Honestly speaking the dogs in our neighbourhood had a lot of respect for Junior. 

I am sure all the bitches in our neighbourhood will miss him too. He is tough with the males but he is a ROMEO with the females. Yah, what can I say. I am sure the ladies will miss him too.

Thank you for all the prayers you prayed for Junior and us. Prayers kept him alive with extra time Trish. He had 2 years and 9 months extra after the diagnose of cancer. By right he was ill in 2010. So he had 4 years extra. 

Thank you so much for giving us the constant support and encouragement when we were down. The world is a better place with good friends as you and all on my facebook. 

It's a very difficult time for us right now. It's 11 years of habits that one has to learn to undo. Alex is in a worse place than I though we both grieve for our little bundle of joy. He was the life in this house. He with his funny doings and playfulness. He demanding he wants something. 

He was a very smart boy that knew how to win our hearts. 

This morning, he took a part of our hearts with him to heaven. The Vet cried too and she hugged me so tightly. I felt comforted. She told me about Job and how he lost everything. He lost everything when he did nothing wrong. The vet told me that normally dogs diagnosed with cancer die in weeks but the fact that Junior lived nearly 3 years, she said, it shows we took really good care of him. Of course it's God who blessed him with those extra years. 

Junior was a blessed dog. He was a miracle dog. He fought for his life till the end. Even on monday, he was humping his doll. Sadly for him last night he was in horrible pain and this morning he was not responding much. So, it was just time out for him. 

I have planted Junior in my heart. He lives there forever till the day I die. He was my only baby. The Lord has blessed him and us with lots of GOOD TIMES. We need to tap into our minds for those good times and remember him as he was when he was happy. 

 I was reading Isaiah 11 just now where it talks about the animals behaviour in the next life. There is hope. 

Alex and I just went for a walk and came home.

  thank you so much for all the prayers for our family. I am very grateful for that. It just happened a tad too soon. Last night he was in pain, and this morning he was unresponsive. So, we had to make that very difficult choice. Vet said nothing more to do. 

Depending on God for everything now. His comfort I seek.

  It is heart wrenching for us. We're not going to get any dog anymore. 90 percent of us says get another dog but we will be tied up at home. I don't want that. I wish you comfort and strength.

 Sis, this morning I felt guilty. I was up at 4 am and thinking about what went wrong. In April we switched him to another brand of Flaxseed oil and in July he was critically ill. We switched him back to his old brand and he was doing good. I feel guilty that I did up increase his flaxseed oil to 6 capsules but just gave him 3 a day. 

I woke up thinking that if I had only gave him the 6 capsules he would have lived longer. 

But my mind told me that God is in total control over us and him. We have already gave our lives into God's Hands. So time of death is also in God's Hands. I need to constantly remember that God already gave Junior nearly 3 extra years. 

I need to stop feeling guilty. He had an awesome life when he was not ill. What can I do if the gall bladder filled with tumor burst? That's what we think. Because the scan showed a big tumor in his gall bladder and the bladder was expanded (July). The radiologist did say it will burst. When Junior had pain, that was what happened. 

But if I had given him more Flaxseed oil maybe the tumor would have shrunken. See I am again putting fault into my hand. What if's this, what if that. 

I need to remember and recall that Junior had 90 percent of his 11 years a good life and 10 percent was filled with sickness, pain and medication. Poor 3.6 kg body couldn't fight it anymore. What can he do if the gall bladder was with tumor. He is just a dog. What can he do. Nothing. Again. Is it my fault that I laxed in taking care of him. Could I have been more vigilant and given him more flaxseed oil and kwark. 

Last week, there were 2 evenings when I didn't give him his flaxseed oil and Kwark. We were both tired because we were busy doing the living room. We did neglect him last week. But I did sit with him for many a time even though we were busy. 

I need to stop blaming myself for his early death. I need to stop feeling guilty. I need to lean on God and remember that nearly 3 years ago I surrendered Junior's and our lives into God's Hands. That He takes total charge of us and determines exactly what should happen and when. 

I need to stop blaming me. I need to focus on God.

 But I must step out of this guilty zone that I am in now. I know I was not the perfect mom for Junior. I just did the best I could. I suppose I was good 90 percent of the time. There was still that 10 percent when I was performing poorly. I was suffering from Graves Disease for quite some time and I was ill too. I did neglect him those times. Alex took care of him when I was ill. There was 3 weeks in August that I was practically on the couch every day because I was ill. Junior always slept with me. 

There has been times when he wanted me to play with him but I shooed him away saying Mommy not feeling too good today and he always understood. Thankfully Alex was his best friend. 

So, these last months was just rough for all of us. But through it all, we had each other for company. Every night we prayed and Junior will always be with us, his 2 front paws on his father's lap and he standing on his back 2 legs. We prayed as a family. 

I made the mistake to humanize him. I didn't see him as a doggie. I saw him as my child. Truth be told Junior was the leader of the pack. He had a strong character. 

I am not going to have another dog. Though 90 percent of us says to have another dog but I don't want. I told God that when Junior passes on I want to travel to the neighbouring countries. I thought in about 4 or 5 years time. I didn't think he would leave us this soon. 

His body couldn't take it anymore. How much can a 3.6 kg dog take. Even humans can't fight cancer. Even people who don't smoke get lung cancer. Even my Diabetes Specialist who took good care of herself couldn't fight the battle of winning cancer, what more a small tiny doggie. 

In the end this is how I see it. God blessed him with nearly 3 years of extra life. Most dogs die weeks or months after the first diagnose of cancer. But God blessed him and us with extra time. Now his time is just up. His small little frail body couldn't take it anymore. We suspect the gall bladder burst. What can any little dog do to overcome that. Nothing. 

We need to accept the fact that he is gone. His memories will stay with us forever. He was a special boy. 

Alex had many dogs before but earlier on he used to say that Junior is so different. Junior behaves and thinks like a human. He doesn't act like a dog. He said all these years ago. 

Junior was truly a perfect dog for Alex and I. He was so sensitive to what was happening. You know he is so thankful when he gets a new toy or treat. He will leave them on the floor and kiss him Pa or Mom first before he plays with his toy or eats his treat. He was a special boy. 

It will be difficult days but I pray our Lord gives us the strength to go on without the boy we loved.