Learning Driving again

I had previously had 53 driving lessons. I gave it up because the theory was just too difficult for me. I kept on doing badly for all the past exam questions. Each time I had about 20 wrongs. For the exams I am supposed to have only up to 5 wrongs. So, I made a choice and gave that up.

Last monday, my driving instructor came knocking on the door and encouraged me to go on with my driving. That next year, it will become difficult.

I tried explaining that I was firstly doing very badly for my theory questions, secondly, I was nervous on the road because I have the english way of driving in my head and thirdly I was really bad on the highway.

He doesnt' take no very easily this man.

So, he said that we shall drive on his wife's automaat and I didn't have to concentrate so much on changing the gears.

Now, for the last few nites I haven't been sleeping good because I get so nervous and panicky just thinking about the theory exam. I almost had a panic attack. But I prayed and prayed and prayed. Now, I am much calmer. I told my hubby, that I give myself till this sunday to go thru the theory questions and if I still faired badly, then I am not going to put myself thru the misery.

I have spent hours going thru the books and I still do badly but I must not give up, I must try my very best to get better results, difficult it may be. I must get that drivers licence, difficult it may be ....... aaahhhhhhhhhh

I just need to pray harder and keep reminding me that God didn't give me a spirit of fear. Funny, how when I don't fear so many other things in my life and yet driving is one thing that causes me this constant fear. Many of you know that in 1984 I met with a very bad accident and that left me terribly shaken up. Then, the driver of the vehicle had swerved to avoid an oncoming motorcyclist and we end up hitting the lamp post. The lamp post was in between the driver and me and my side of the vehicle was in the drain. Slightly to the left or right either the driver or me could have been dead on that day. Well, that shook me up.

Now, I need to conquer this fear and go on. I need to give myself this one last chance.